Right to empathy

The deaf, like any of us, have the right to choose what languages they would like to learn. If they are more comfortable in sign, they must be taught to sign. If they are more comfortable with speech and hearing aids/cochlear implants, that must be made available to them. From what I have seen personally in my interactions or observations of the deaf [this is a strong personal opinion, not to be confused with a professional or authoritative one] , they have always switched back to sign the moment they're left alone with their deaf friends.

I grew up in Mumbai and every evening outside our local park, there used to be this group of men...around 6 of them if I remember right who'd be laughing loudly...making sounds that I couldn't understand and happily signing away to glory. That is my earliest memory of a whole group communicating beautifully without speech.

Ofcourse, I would be very foolish to suggest that parents must not expect a 'normal' life and choose a 'normal' language for their children. That would be insensitive too. But if speech comes naturally and without too much trauma, it is welcome. In other cases, it is more sensitive to allow the child to communicate using a language he/she is most comfortable in.

I was invited to a felicitation ceremony for the disabled in Pune last year. A well known [in his social and work circles], well educated, well placed deaf gentleman, Arun ( name changed), who had also participated in our first workshop, was being given an award for his courage and progress despite his disabilities. He sat on the podium and the speaker introduced him to the audience over the microphone. Arun does not use hearing aids and he sat facing the speaker's back so he couldn't read his lips. There was no interpreter and Arun had no way of knowing what was being said about him. He sat there till the person next to him nudged him when it was his turn to accept his award. He took the microphone. He was raised to be 'oral' ...to speak. He also signs fluently, but for some reason, that evening, he decided not to sign. So he spoke. None of us understood a word he said. Not one word. He still stood there and talked...and I rose to leave because I could not take the overwhleming irony anymore. There were representatives of Helen Keller Inst. in the first row. There were people from various established NGOs in attendance. Nobody reacted. As I walked out of the hall, Arun was still 'talking'.

I visited Sibaji Panda in Lancashire University. We had lunch together. He talked to me and I talked too, trying to sign and succeeding sometimes. He read my lips without any problems. He was not born deaf but lost his hearing in his childhood. He lip reads and speaks many languages fluently. He also signs and is very active with the ISHARA foundation in Mumbai. That is him, signing in the first video.

Our choices for our children, I think, must not be based on our biases but on unconditional love and acceptance. That would perhaps take our world forward. But for that sensitivity and acceptance to come, we must educate our future generations and sensitise them to the limitations nature has endowed each of us with.